today i wear the necklace. a reminder of her. i feel closer to her when I wear it. why? it’s an object. maybe because she is not physically here but the ring she once held in her tiny hands is a reminder of an event i cannot make sense of. i have made sense of every other thing in this life, for the most part, but this is senseless. death. stillbirth. hello and goodbye in one meeting. i won’t ever stop trying to make sense of it. that is the memory. senseless.